I've been with my boyfriend for almost 7 months now. We love each other and get on amazingly well. In the day he can be all over me, hugging and kissing me, holding my hand, saying how pretty I look and how attractive he thinks I am. This is all very well but I wish he'd show it in the bedroom! When we do have sex usually initiated by myself he finds it difficult to have an erection for more than ten minutes. I feel this is the root of the problem and is why he doesn't initiate sex with me. We've spoken about this many times trying to get to the root of the problem but with no luck! The funny thing is that throughout the day, he has no difficulty getting erect, but when it comes to having sex A big problem now is that when I feel in the mood for sex I tend to fantasize about other people, including one of my exes who I was very sexually active with.

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While you were dating and during the honeymoon years of your marriage , you lovebirds likely couldn't keep your hands off of each other. Physical attraction and sex are trademark signs of a healthy relationship, according to research published in the Journal of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences. But how does sexual intimacy between partners adapt with age? As men age, it's natural for them to experience a somewhat decreased sex drive, says Jeanne O'Connell , M. According to a review published in the Journal of Nurse Practitioners , sexual intimacy declines around age 45 and continues to decline with age. Physiological components can be at play, such as age-related changes in blood flow and shifts in hormones. Other barriers to sexual intimacy may include health conditions, an inability to orgasm, a lack of confidence in the bedroom, and a decline in the desire to engage in sexual activities in general, regardless of your feelings towards your partner. Perhaps you're still trying to keep things exciting in the bedroom, but you can sense your husband's sex drive beginning to tank. For starters, it's likely not because of anything you're doing differently, but we completely understand the hurt and confusion. Here are the top reasons why your husband may have lost his libido, according to experts.
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But how often do we hear the nitty-gritty of how we can actually better understand our deepest desires and most embarrassing questions? Bustle has enlisted Vanessa Marin, a sex therapist , to help us out with the details. No gender, sexual orientation, or question is off limits, and all questions will remain anonymous. Please send your sex and relationship inquiries to tips bustle. Not turned on by me anymore? What do I do? Sex is important to me!
It might be time to re-evaluate if you're suffering in a sexless marriage or relationship. If your experiencing similar problems, you certainly aren't alone. All attraction just went out the window. It can and does happen. The problem is, you can stop being attracted to a person sexually but still love them.